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Dumbo

Feb
18

Day 63 (Wacky Wednesday):

I have had a lot of flack over my son getting married and not telling me.  I have been told that I am a horrible mother, that I should die, that I have not right to be upset, I am un-Christlike, and that I was stupid to react the way I did.  That I have no talent and a child can draw better than me.

For the last three weeks I have been berated, hurt, lied to, and insulted.  I am sorry that I said things that were hurtful.  That was not my intention.  I have removed anything that could be damaging to their life or jobs.  I have removed myself from their life, so they have not chose between me or them.  I have from that day until now been rather quiet about things.

They are married.  I wish them the best.  I hope they can grow and become great people and have a great marriage.  I, also, hope they tell his dad that they are married.  Best wishes to them.

However, they should not be surprised that I have stopped calling them.  They have a life and I do not want to get between them.  I do not hate her nor him.  Life is too short to go around hating people.  Last words I say to them if they read this.   I love son and I will love my daughter-in-law as well.

 

On to my silly little drawing, I chose something sweet to draw this week.  I hope it brings a smile to your face. dumbo in colored pencil

House and Water

Feb
16

Friday Fundamentals – Day 61:

What a great way to practice shading, highlighting and using the darker pencils.  I loved this practice.  I did not think it would go so well.  I loved the look.  I did not think of how detailed it would look but I took a lesson on drawing water and he demonstrated great technique and instruction.  This is Darrel Tank with Five Pencil Method.  I love his work.  He has a great way of teaching how to get things to look real.  I hope I can take that into other areas of drawing and painting.

This was a great motivation. When you get good instruction, it is easier to get better and faster, too.

Pouring water is a pencil drawing

 

Sketching Saturday – Day 62:

I had only 40 interrupted minutes to draw.  I wanted to start to draw buildings.  This is an interesting one to draw but it was too detailed to get done in a short time frame.  I hope I can come back to this one and finish it. Can you believe the sag on that roof?  What time does if there is no one to fix it and keep it up.  Sorry for the lightness of the drawing.  This is just a quick sketch/outline.  I was going to go in and darken and highlight later.

Old House set in the country. This is a first level drawing with a level 4H pencil Will try to finish at another time.

Weeks work

Feb
13

Day 58: Madness Monday  Lens and lines.

I have had this idea in my head for a week or more.  It was nice to be able to do a mixed media work.  I love doing that.  I love the simplicity of this with out being boring.  There comes a point when I am doing something new and I am just about to get good at it.  I start to want to quit.  So, for weeks I have been fighting this.  Plus, I had two people ask for paintings.  I have completed one but the other one is still just out of my reach.  I am fighting the quitting desire and trying hard to push through it.  I need to do that now and again.  This was one that I enjoyed just to do for the simplicity of it.
I wanted to give the illusion of glass on paper. Mixed media: Markers-Sharpies, watercolor, sketch pencils, and colored pencils

 

Day 59: Tangled Tuesday.

Again, I am just drawing to put things on paper.  I am pushing through my temptations and conquering my weakness.  Thus, this is good for this week.  Fighting this internal battle. Split idea must be a subconscious thought.  Anyway, it is here and have fun with it.

Zentangle doodle piece in pen

 

Day 60: Sketching Saturday.

I have done it.  I have drawn 60 pics.  Wow.  I would have never thought I would have gotten this many accomplished.  However,  I have done more draws that I did not post but 60 posted pics.  Next goal 100 then 365.  This is a great example of continuing through all things.  The tree.  Strong and tall but not without age and it leans to one side from the great gales that beat upon it.  Nonetheless, it is still strong and tall.  I will do the same with drawing.  I will draw and become strong and tall.  Something of built with time.

 

The tree: a pencil sketch. Strong and tall.

New diet plan

Feb
02

Resolution time you would think has started late for me. I started a new diet today.  Well, the resolution was made on New Year’s but I took my time to implement it.  The reason.  Are there times in your life when you want to do something but you are not sure you know how or the concept you want to achieve  is only half-baked.  Well,  that was this goal.  So, instead of just doing something to start the goal, I started to research as the start of the goal.

I have been having a hard time with coming up with a diet plan.  I wanted something that follows the Word of Wisdom.  I think this applies. Though it doesn’t have grains at first, they come back in a great and pure form. That is a huge deal for me.  This seems like a diet that I can do from this point on.

 

Day 1:   Always hungry? by David Ludwig, MD, PhD alwayshungrybook.com

The diet has a 7 day prep time before you even start the diet.  This is the first time I have heard of that happening.  I liked the book.  It gives great detail and background information.  The information helps to understand why this diet should work and why other diets fail with studies and reasoning behind it.  I have read the book, organized the weekly plan and done the prep work.  I am grateful for the time to prep.

The first day is I thought I would have a lot of problems.  I have started many of diets but after a few hours I get cranky, weak and out of control.  This time, I had none of that.  I was able to go into town shop for hours then come home and make dinner.  Normally, I have been too weak to make dinner after shopping in town.  Today that was not the case I had energy.

There is a lot of food.  More than I could eat.  The recipes for today were good and enjoyable to eat. I do have craving but that was because I did not eat the lunch as advised. Part of the reason for skipping lunch was because I went into town and I wasn’t hungry until I came home and dinner was getting made with the snacks I didn’t have too much problem with missing lunch until later in the evening but the dessert they suggest did help in the long run.  (Like the run on sentence.) I am going to keep on going try the diet tomorrow.  I look forward to tomorrows meals.

 

Messy bun with plumerias

Jan
29

Day 57: (Thursday – Human drawings) –

As you can see I am redrawing one I have already done. This is with the intent to perfect for a friend.  It reminds her of her lovely daughter that has passed away.  I trying to work on it to get it perfect for her and on canvas.  This is just an approval version not the finished one.  However, I think there are two things I will change as I am looking at it. The hair at the bottom needs to be separated and the hair needs more contrast/  However, I am much happier with it.  It is so elegant.

Messy bun with plumerias

 

This is also the second drawing I did while sick.  I am trying to push through this though yesterday I was down for the count. Today, I have bounced back and ready to fight this awful cold.

Oh just for reference here is the original.  What do you think about the changes?

Messy bun sketch illustration in pencil and pen

Tangled Jewel Flower

Jan
29

Day 56: Tangled Tuesday –

I have been working on this for a few days.  I have been sick and with the help of my family I was able to get two drawings done.  This is one of them.  I am excited to start to get colored blending and a bit of depth.  I have much work to do but it is coming along.

Zentangle colored-pencil jeweled flower

There is much I can talk about but just say when you are sick you just want to veg and sleep.  I have been doing a lot of that.

 

Plumerias

Jan
17

Day 54 and 55: Fundamental Friday and Sketching Saturday

Plumeria outline drawn in pencil

 

I don’t know what has happened to me.  I feel as though my hands are drawing better than my mind can image things.  It is amazing how free and focused I have become in my drawing time.  I am loving it.

Plumeria drawn in pencil

Yesterday was really busy and I was up until 2 am with my son who decided not to go to sleep until after 1am. Anyway,  I woke up with a headache and about 5 hours of sleep on a Saturday morning with no obligations.  I haven’t had a day like that in a long time but the dogs wanted out and my husband was outside, too early for me, and so I was beckoned to awake and get to work.  I tried to go back to bed but no luck. Have you had a day or two like that?

 

Thus, I was grumpy, tired and had the headache.  Once breakfast was on and I started to lighten up my husband took compassion on me and let me have the day to myself.  How wonderful that was!!  I decided to draw.

plumerias drawn with a Kuretake brush pen

I have a piece that I am needing to work on.  I was askedto draw Thursday drawing on canvas to be framed and displayed.  It is a friend of mine.  She asked that Plumeria be placed in the girl’s hair.  They looked easy enough to draw.  Today, I took on the challenge to draw the flower.

In the process of drawing these flowers, I got done with the outline and did not know how to process.  With my daughter’s suggestion and my mother’s backing that idea.  I decided to copy the drawing on to cardstock and use several different medias to capture the essence of the work.

Plumeria drawn and colored in watercolor, white ink and pencil

I am so glad I did.  What is your favorite?  The outline, brush pen with teal, the watercolor or the all pencil draw.

Plumeria drawn in pencil plumerias drawn with a Kuretake brush pen Plumeria drawn and colored in watercolor, white ink and pencil

 

Mine is the all pencil drawing.  My family loved the brush pen with teal drawing.  The watercolor though is beautiful especially in person.

I hope you like it.  Have a good weekend.

Messy Bun

Jan
15

Day 53: Human Thursday-

I love illustrated sketches of girls.  They are beautiful.  This is from a YouTube video from “DebbyArts” https://youtu.be/71kLGmy9Be8.  She draws things so elegant.

Today wasn’t that big of a deal.  I just went to therapy for my child and got groceries.  The girls that help my son are great.  He has some speech problems.  Well, I started drawing this during the therapy.  I wanted to do something light and beauty.  What do you think?

Messy bun sketch illustration in pencil and pen

This is done in pencil and ink.

Emerald Necklace

Jan
14

Day 52: Wacky wednesday

I just wanted to get my mind off of yesterday or more like process everything yesterday.  I don’t know how or what to say or do.  I have been eerily calm about it, inside and outward.  I just hate that he lied to me.  That is what it boiled down to.

Anyway,  I think I wanted to do something that was on the realistic side of things instead of the screaming and throwing a tantrum side that is wanting to come out but is buried quite far from the surface.

I pick the emerald because I knew I had the colors for it.  This is done in mostly watercolor with a bit of ink, pencil and marker.  I can’t believe I drew that..

Mixed Media art of an emerald necklace

Love

Jan
14

Day 51: Tangled Tuesday

I had seen an art rendition of this word.  I had been pondering this image for days.  Yesterday, I decided to go ahead and draw it.  This would be a great word to make into art.  As I was working on the word my son from Albuquerque walks in with a girl that he use to date and is friends with and starts to talk to us.

I can tell that this is not a discussion I want to be apart. I just want to look down and continue with drawing and coloring this word.  Just leave me alone, just today.  Tomorrow I will deal with any problems or information you want me to handle.  That was not my luck. The girl is holding a frame with a certificate in it.  This is not a certificate I want to see.  It has the letter ‘M’ starting some word.  Oh no.  It is not a word I want to see.  It is not an action I want to hear about.  Not from a 19 year old.  No,  life is for enjoying not for committing to so soon.

Oh yes.  If you are thinking the word – “Marriage”.  That is it.  Bingo.  My new daughter-in-law hands the certificate to my husband and I don’t know what he is doing with it but it is keeping it away from me on purpose.  Everyone,  my parents, my husband, my son and my new daughter-in-law are not wanting to see my reaction to this information.

But I still can shock everyone.  I, finally, get the certificate and there is it.  My son married her in April 2015.  It is now January 2016.  Hello!  I calmly hand it back and state that it was performed in April of last year.  Why did you want until now to tell me?

I have been with them.  He told me that he was not seeing her and not involved with her in anyway.  He was flat out lying.  My folks state that he was scared and that was the reason and that made it okay.  THAT IS NOT OKAY.  But HE DID.  I don’t want to say anything more than that.

There is more but I do not want to discuss it for all to know for forever to have a record of it.  UHGGGGGGGGGGGG.  Love is so special.  Don’t forget that.  Put that in the place of all the mess.

Okay.  She is not horrible nor does she treat my son bad but I don’t know how righteous she will be.  I don’t think she will follow the Lord.  I just wanted someone that will love the Lord first and then my son second.  But when it is the other way around you can make excuses and problems will come in but it is a co-dependent relationship.

That is the rant for today.

 

Colored Zentangle style depiction of the word LOVE

 

Update 1/18/2016

I have removed some words here that could be harmful to people involved.  I am not perfect.  I am not ready to say Kumbawa yet either.  Do I want to have a good relationship with them? Yes.  However, the issue has always be trust.  Everyone, always says poor child.  No one ever says poor parent.  When they have put so many years of blood, sweat and tears into raising a child.  I know no one is perfect.  How is it that everyone is telling me that I am evil because I am upset that I was lied to again and again.  I am suppose to turn the other cheek.  Well, I have and I was lied to there and more that this.  I have giving all I can.

I want to have a good relationship of trust with my son. How do I do that if he is always dishonest with me?  My door will always be open for a relationship but I am not going to try every week to make something work that is not ready to be fix.

I am tired.  I am also tired of everyone telling me I am not allowed to be upset. Would you be upset if you found out that you were lied to again?

I know that I have ranted here.  But I am trying to make this a blog about my life as well as my art. I did not do this where everyone is reading, like on Facebook or Instagram.  I get a whole 5 visiting a day.  I don’t even talked to that many people in a week in person.  So, cut me some slack.  This is my voice with the outside world.  If I had a girlfriend or friend to talk to maybe I would not have said things here but I don’t.  I live too many miles away from people and the friends I have are too busy to even read that I had something happen in my life or talk to me.

I truly hope they are happy together.  I probably would not have been so upset if they had done this a few years from now after they have lived a little.  May God bless them as they do what is right.